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Chapter Seven : Let Your Anger Grow [page3]

he blackish red blood began spinning round and round at one place in the water. The spinning speed increased more and more. The blood became one big solid mass. The red mass suddenly jumped upon me.
The mass had turned into a deep crimson-colored red crab. The crab pinched my back fin tightly with its scissory claw.It hurts.
I jumped, to shake it off. The more I jumped, the more the crab pinched harder and increased its power to hold on in order not to be shaken off.


The crab flared up into a further scarlet red.
I repeated my jumps continuously.The swirling whirlpool became bigger. And, I was dragged into the whirlpool I had caused into being.Even so, I could not shake the crab off from me. The anger I had gradually changed into fear.I'm scared. I am frightened to the extent I do not know how to express it in words. I do not know what I am afraid of. And then, I am anxious.In order to hide my anxiety, I repeat my jumps again and again. I was becoming exhausted.Circumstantially, I was pulled into the center of the whirlpool by now. And all at once, I was sunk into the deep part of the sea.


As I struggled sufferingly amidst the center of the whirlpool, I said:
"Please stop. Let go. I've had enough. Please, I beg you, go away somewhere."
The crab answered:
"No, it won't work that way. I'm a part of you, so I won't."
"What? You're a part of me?"
"Right. I'm your anger. When I, your anger, began to rise, I gave you signals of pain. Even so, you've been ignoring my signals all the while until now. And, you locked me in, to the depths of your heart, so that you couldn't even feel my existence any longer, by the time you knew it. You closed down all your heart. By closing down your heart, you could get away with not looking into all of your dislikable parts within you."